Snow

As I sit at Hooked on Colfax, gorgeous March snow is falling down in big, puffy flakes. I can't get enough of this white, airy stuff. "This is why I live here," is a slogan seen across Denver and throughout Colorado. It's a quote that is repeated so frequently I think there is a bumper sticker. There has to be. If not, I am on that. And it would be the one and only bumper sticker I would ever put on my car. I'm not a fan of the overly decorated car with multiple bumper stickers, many of which highlight the driver as some extreme idealist or extreme Republican. If my car were magnetic, I'd throw some magnets on there because my mood and thoughts change too much to have permanent ink on my car.

So much has been happening in my life that I haven't had a chance to brain dump my travels, experiences, wild stories and fears in a while. Warning: there is not a focus to my writing, it's a "lluvia de ideas," in English - a downpour of ideas.

Snow. I love it and live for it. I've been up to Breckenridge, Vail and Beaver Creek so much this season; Vail is now my home mountain. The snow at Vail is to die for. I could die happy after riding through China Bowl all day. Next topic: China Bowl.God has created a beautiful country and such a pristine maze of trees up there. I feel like I am experiencing something so unique to me, only shared with the man upstairs, and that feeling is empowering and spiritually charging. The last time I was up at China Bowl, I made my own line down through the trees for about 5-10 minutes because there was so much fresh powder and uncharted area. My snowboard was gliding like I was riding through buttery sugar. Then, I stopped. There was too much powder. Luckily I stopped - I was on the edge of a cliff that dropped straight down and at the bottom was green run. That run was really far down; if I had to estimate the distance, it was 20 feet or so. Too far to jump for this kid! I had to trek out and eventually take off my board to walk out for a while. That was exhausting and tiring. Eventually I made it down to a green run, was exhausted and sat on that chair to recharge. The man next to me heard me telling my cliff story and was cracking up. He is someone to look up to - living in Vail for 40 years and skis over 100 days a year. WHAT!? I have been up to ride enough to lose count; I long for the year I can live and ski, live and ski. He made that ride warm up with a shot of whiskey! Oh, to be wealthy enough to ski for a living. How can I get paid to do that?

Vail. In a nutshell - powder, bowls and so much terrain you can't do it all in 40 years (as told to me by a man who has been living there for 40 years).



I feel renewed every time I leave the mountains and head back to Denver on the 70. Denver is such a great city that coming back down is okay; I know I can head back up to Breck, Keystone or Vail for a weekend or a day's skiing. The vacation never ends when the snow is so close. What am I going to do when there is no more snow!? Yikes!

Well - one thing I will be doing - running 5Ks and 10Ks in and around Denver. I ran the Running of the Green today in Denver. The weather was awful; below 30 degrees, cloudy and overcast because it was about to snow. Yesterday was in the 60s and sunny. Spring is here! Plus, the resurgence of Denver Cruisers and the Wednesday Cruisers rides will be awesome!

Oh - and I am heading back to South America! Por fin!
June 22nd - depart for Peru, Machu Picchu and then off to Buenos Aires, Agentina and Bariloche, Argentina. We'll end the trip in Santiago, Chile. 35 days of la pura vida.

We are Family. All my sisters and me!

Rough week last week for my family - the Karnowski side. Luckily, my sisters all showed such amazing support. I am so lucky to have developed such strong friendships throughout college. These girls have become lifelines and are truly reliable and dependable sisters. How am I so lucky to have such fabulous friends?

Do all people have such a strong network of women - or men- that they can rely on for anything, no matter where they are in the world? How is it that we find the right people to fit into our own lives, and that we fit into their world? I am just fascinated by the physiological connections we make that transcend time and place.

I sometimes wonder why certain people stick in my memory, even though their time was fleeting. And. What is it about an event or action that causes us to index it into a filing cabinet upstairs?

I seem to remember simple, seemingly mundane things about me and my sisters in college. Amanda and I would sit and drink coffee, eat grapefruit and watch those cheesy morning talk shows during the hot summer days of Chicago. That was right when I came back from South America and didn't want to be in the States. She let me just be myself, never judged me and accepted the new me. Still love her for being so supportive during that pivotal re-entry time.

This past week I could have easily felt so alone and out of place. I did for a few moments. But even though I was not sitting next to any one sister in particular, I could feel their love and support through their calls, emails and beautiful flowers. I found hope in the strength of my sisters.

70 and Snowboarding

I'm silly. I jump and hop around like a kid on Christmas morning when my friends and I pulled up to Keystone for the first day of snowboarding this season. The sun was shining, there were skis leaning against cars and people enjoying a Coors before hitting the slopes. After I put on my new boots and had my board out - I just smiled. God has blessed me. He has been leading me along on a journey far from one I was imagining throughout college. But here I am in Denver, Colorado. I wanted to be here for college, didn't happen. It was #1 on my preferences for cities with Teach for America. I was in Phoenix for two years. Now - here I am. And I'll be snowboarding until I am 70.
The mountains are luminous as you drive west on the 70 and they just keep multiplying. The best part is as you hug the mountainside, around a bend is another set of large, snow-capped peaks. I always look out for the mountain goats and am hoping to see a mountain lion at least once.
The snow was there and 10% of the mountain was open for us early-bird skiers and boarders.

From Denver Fall09

Did I mention it was 70 degrees in Denver the day before heading to the mountains to snowboard? Love it.

Here is how the ski vacations of the past have panned out for me...
Day 1 - stare wildly at the mountains and comment every 5 minutes on how amazingly beautiful it is and that I want to live here.
Days of snowboarding - wake up early for breakfast and coffee. Be on the slopes for the first run of the day and hit the fresh pow-pow before another board slices through. Sometimes, I'll pause at the top of a run to take a big, deep breath and a photo. I'll take a quick 15 minute break to eat and have a Gatorade. Back out to the slopes for Round 2.
Oh, you know where I am going with this one. The last run of the day. Let me tell you. My thighs are shaking, maybe even burning a little bit. I'm not sure I can make it. Then, I just look around me and feel that open air liberty that rushes around as you fly down the slopes. I've already hit a few jumps on the sides, fallen when I try to get more air than the last time and I've even gone through some moguls. Those moguls take a lot of concentration. They are a blast!
All that goes through my mind as I take my time - and allow the adrenaline to race through my legs -
At the bottom of the hill, I can't wait to be back at the top again tomorrow.

From Denver Fall09

Now - I can do that each weekend. What!? You mean I don't have to be so sore that I can't get out of bed the next morning as early as the first day? I can take a long break to enjoy a beer at the summit! Now - I get to drive 90 minutes to be at the parking lot of Keystone or Breck. Sometimes, we'll venture out to Vail.

I'll venture.

From Denver Fall09

It's another venture on the open road, and this season, the road is white, powdery and fills me with adrenaline and sheer joy!

Social Protest Dump

Here we go.
Our school leader resigned his job one week ago. He left. He started the middle school here in Denver and opened the new high school this year. I moved from Phoenix (thankfully) to Denver to be part of the founding team and family. Our students came from our middle school and various other charter and public middle schools. Most of them bought into his leadership, style and passion for their education. Some of our families have been with him for 5-8 years. I've known him for less than one year. This kids put their whole lives into him. He was their Pied Piper.
He left without an explanation or goodbye. To kids - this is an awful abandonment. This act made them go into wild cycles of emotions, from anger and resentment to disappointment and a drop in self-esteem. These are kids that already have been through hell and back, or still living in hell. This man brought sunshine to their cloudy dismal lives. He brought them hope. And gone.
Teachers? We are here but very minuscule compared to his grandness. So he left and the teachers took all the heat. I have seen kids plummet in a few days because of the abandonment and diminished sense of security. It is an awful place to be.
As adults, we were abandoned by the man that led us here to Denver. 5 out of the 7 of us teachers came from out of state to help open this school!
I felt frustrated and disappointed and shocked. But I found my strengths and I found my leadership - and I provided consistency and structure. The two things kids need.
The kids, though, felt anger and were mad. Who can they direct that to? The people they see everyday and that are still here. Us. A few of them failed some quizzes, failed to complete their homework and sat in a daze.
A small group of the student leaders went Lord of the Flies and led the kids into rebellion.

We had a protest outside of our school doors yesterday. Posters. Chanting. The student government was represented - minus 4 of the kids that went to school that day. Yup. They skipped school and stayed outside all day. 30 degrees and cold. Marching. Denver police came to monitor. The kids called the news stations to get them out here. They didn't come because they called our office. At least the news reporters have some decency. A few of the parents were even out there marching with them. Marching to get Mr. Barrett back.
Lesson #1 - protests are about social injustice and a call for change. The injustice is that he didn't say goodbye. So protest outside his house.
Lesson #2 - not going to school is skipping = truancy = unexcused absence = unlawful. The choice to arrive at school and not go to school is the definition of defiance.
Lesson #3 - every action has a consequence. Some are good, some not so good.

So here I am, sitting in a classroom, with 25 students writing papers about social protests throughout history.
I was affected. You chose to skip my class. You chose to break that trust and relationship that we had. You chose to say - no, he is the only person and the only brick in the wall that can get me to college. Bullshit.
If you want to make an adult choice, you gotta deal with adult consequences.
All these kids that had a great relationship with me - bull.
They were saving their true self for one person. And it wasn't their own self.

What is sad about all this is that these kids are really smart. Really smart. But they just have been believing in the wrong person the whole time. They haven't started to believe that they are worth it. That THEY are the kids that make KIPP, KIPP.
I am sad that my relationships with my students is so adversely affected. I am saddened that they are not internally motivated for school and their future. I am disheartened by their own pain and suffering. Yet - they chose to internalize all those emotions instead of talking about it with us. They made a choice - and that chose ended up being the wrong one. They broke the relationships that were still there.
Where do we go from here?

Denver Menver

When I moved here in early June, many friends and family friends kept referring to Denver as "Menver." Let us take a look at what that really means for a girl moving to Denver in her 20s...

If you want a date, tell people you just moved here a week/month/2 months ago. After 2 months, it isn't a great line anymore. But within those 2 months, expect a date or phone number every weekend. Especially if you go out in LoDo.

Wash Park is full of frat guys and Big Ten graduates. The park is a great place to ride your bike because you can slow down to check out the guys playing bags, volleyball or kegball (yes, we have kegball, not kickball). However, this is a scene to be seen, not the greatest pickup place because there isn't really forced interaction between different groups of friends. Unless you are really bad at throwing a frisbee. **You can meet new groups of friends here, people to hang out with for football/baseball/hockey season and maybe a diamond in the rough for a date or two..or three.

Colfax is the place you want to go to people watch and feel like you are in a college dive bar. PBR is everywhere and people are dressed all sorts of crazy. You'll find hipsters, flannel shirts, girls in skimpy clothes and too much makeup, and the traditional button-down guy and Jcrew girl. somewhere in the mix you can find an original human being. It just might take some soul-searching. Note: don't go home with a guy from Colfax. No way!

REI: Yes. REI is the place to go to find the rugged, the bearded man, the recent college grads still living off their college loans and some mountaineers. These guys work here or come to climb the rock wall and get their wool socks and climbing ropes. It's a fun place to find a guy that cycles, climbs, camps and/or wants to live in the mountains. Caution: many of these guys would prefer to live in seclusion at the tree line away from society.

LoDo: Wow. Where else can you find a sea of men, drinking, playing beer pong and buying drinks for ladies all night? The beer is great in Denver/Menver and these guys love to drink it. Watch out for the guys looking for something short-term and easy to forget, they seem to be all over the place. Take a group of friends with you and your night will be filled with drinks, dancing and bar hopping. It amazes me the difference between here and Chicago. In Chicago, guys don't buy you drinks. They sit and drink their rum and coke, wait for you to order yours and then come talk to you. Out here in the Rockies, the scruffy man with his messenger bag will pull out a PBR before you walk into the bar and get you a drink before you know what you want. If he slips away because he isn't interested, someone else will be along before the end of the night.

The men are plentiful. They are everywhere. The ratio of guys to girls here is something like 6:1 or 7:1. Insane. Girls, be wary - what type of guy do you want? There is definitely a plethora to choose from so be wise..and be safe!

Loyola's gift

Teaching. I think someone lit a fire under my a** when I chose to go to Loyola. As a Jesuit university, its motto is "preparing people to live extraordinary lives." To me, the motto represents an awakening to our global citizenship. I am a steward of justice and faith, of perseverance and solidarity. Would I have discovered my calling and my gift at another university? It might have taken me a lot longer.
Loyola gave me a chance to follow a path that I did not even realize I was walking. Through community service projects in the city to studying abroad and wearing my Ramblers shirt downtown, I was promoting the traditions of a group of people committed to making a difference.
Now, the deeply embedded Jesuit values of justice and faith carry me through the day. As a KIPP Denver Collegiate High School teacher, I share with my students the value of character and being one for the global community. My small group of students that most high schools would call homeroom is called my PRIDE. These kids are my pride because they have already started to recognize their one life is better and bigger when they affect their community. We went to Dumb Friends Animal Shelter in Denver, Colorado for a Saturday afternoon. We will be going each month for a few hours to help the shelter in any way we are able. These kids went with me last night to Red Rocks to listen to Greg Mortenson talk about peace in Afghanistan and Pakistan. He builds schools for girls in a society that does not promote peace for all. Through education, he is empowering a generation of people to improve the way their world functions.

Where is this going?

I had no idea that signing up for Teach for America would bring me to the point where my school cell phone is a lifeline for kids when their world goes dark. It is. The question, "Will you pray for me?" lights a fire in me. Who is putting these bright, talented, caring teenagers in misery? Someone who knows that these spirits and minds can develop into strong leaders and activists that will fight against injustice and stand proudly for their right to a safe, strong and successful life.

Thank you for the gift. The gift of listening, of compassion and humility. Loyola, you lit a fire in me that is inextinguishable.

New School, Old Building

I'd like to paint a picture in your mind....
Imagine a high school where students walk calmly through the hallways, wearing either blue or white shirts with the school logo emblazoned on the front. Snazzy signs hang throughout the halls and in classrooms with slogans like, "If a teammate needs help, we give," or "No shortcuts. No excuses." One of my favorite slogans that hangs in our halls says, "Work Hard. Be Nice." What if I said those were the school rules? You won't find signs that say "No Gum" or "No late work accepted." This is a school where students call their teachers and ask for an extension on their homework if they need more time. No excuses. Imagine 130 freshman sitting quietly and listening to school announcements led by their student government. Teachers are visible but rarely heard. In that same meeting, students snap their fingers to praise each other for hard work, being there to lift a friend who had a rough time or thank a teacher for their dedication in the classroom. Was that your high school?
This is KIPP Denver Collegiate High School. Right here in Denver, Colorado.
Imagine these kids, so positive and demonstrating citizenship in their schools, sitting in classrooms with brand new tables and chairs, new science lab rooms with gas and air hook ups. In a building that has air system features that are circulating around dirty air out of filters that haven't been changed in years. The wing we occupy hasn't been used in years. The staircases collect dust and the cleaning crew doesn't clean daily. The lockers need some force to help open them. Teachers don't have keys to their classrooms and our cafeteria is underground, with no air ventilation. 130 teenagers at lunch time can heat up a room! There was asbestos in the building, I was told it was all removed. Hm. I thought that stuff was a little difficult to remove.
Remember those great kids? Their teachers and leaders and coaches are even more indescribable. These teachers show up early and stay late. They make sure each kid has a chance to succeed - whether it takes them an extra week to get it or they need more challenging problems to solve. Their leaders work relentlessly to make college an option.
I am so proud to be a part of the KIPP family. These kids are already showing that they can and will graduate from college - if they continue to work hard and be nice.